Nonviolent Communication

Nonviolent Communication and Conflict Management

The conflict:

This happened last year, 2010. I was just moved from one classroom to the other to be the lead teacher. The same morning it was snowing and according to the policy regarding taking the kids outdoors we have to take the kids unless the temperature is under 32 degrees or the wind chill is high. That morning a parent came in saying that her child is not going outside before asking whether or not we were going outside. I immediately approached the parent reminding her of the policy. She got upset and cursed me out saying she was going to kick my…. You know what! One of the other teachers immediately reported the incident to the director and the parent was called in for a meeting. We discussed the issue but none of us admitted that we did or say something wrong. We argued over what was said and what was not said. No solution was reached and the situation was left hanging. The afternoon when she came to pick her child up from school we did not communicate and up to the time her child left for kindergarten I had very little to say to that parent.

The issue for the parent was that I am new and I should not act as if I was in charge trying to act “stand offish.” The issue for me was that she shouldn’t be telling us that her child was not going outside. The way she said it sounded demanding as if she was in control of what we do or not do in and out of the classroom.

Strategies

I could have used the escapist strategy; that is allowing the parent to have her way and make the decision to avoiding a conflict. This strategy would help avoid direct conflict between the parent and me.  Direct conflict can ruin relationship between parties.

I could have also used the consider options and alternatives strategy by making her know what we can do with the child if we were going to go outdoors. I could have suggested dressing the child warmly by giving her the needed winter attire, or suggested that we can take the child to another classroom for the thirty (30) minutes. This strategy would help manage the conflict effectively.

This was a learning experience for me. If I had greater knowledge of conflict resolution as I have today maybe the conflict would have never occurred OR would have handled differently. The knowledge gained from this course on conflict resolution is now a roadmap in handling conflicts.

Resources

O’Hair, D. & Wiemann, M. (2009). Real communication: An Introduction.  New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s

Who Am I as a Communicator

Who Am I as a Communicator???

The results of the evaluation were somewhat similar in both the verbal aggressive scale and communication anxiety but different in listening styles. Those similarities and differences tell me that peoples’ perceptions of others can be based on past experiences, culture and present feelings.  Also our perceptions tend to remain constant. Once we see things in a particular way, we continue to see it that way.   

What surprised me the most is the fact that both evaluations; communication anxiety and verbal aggressiveness were rated the same in all situations by my co-worker and me.  O’Hair, & Wiemann (2009) stated, “Our view of ourselves is often so biased that we misinterpret or ignore information that we need in order to communicate effectively.” Yes, maybe I was biased. What about my coworker?  LOL :)

The insights gained about communication

Self monitoring - the ability to watch the environment and others in it for cues as to how to present yourself in a particular situation (SNYDER, 1974). This is critical because in communicating we do not individuals to take us where we are at face value. We should be monitor self presentation just enough to present ourselves effectively without forgetting that communication involves others (O’Hair, & Wiemann, 2009).

Also, self disclosure – revealing yourself to others by sharing information about yourself  (O’Hair, & Wiemnann, 2009). Increased understanding about each other can positively impact our communication and improve the degree to which we can share and understand meaning across languages, cultures, and divergent perspectives

Finally, How we perceive things will make a difference in the way we communicate across cultures. Therefore as early childhood professionals it is imperative that we remember that to communuicate effectively and appropriately we must possess an understnding of and appreciaton for people who may perceive things differently (O'Hair, & Wiemann, 2009).This should be reflected in our personal lives as well.

 I still do not know who am I as a Communicator. The assessments were not a true picture of who I am. :)

Resources

O'Hair, & Wiemann, (2009). Real communication: An Introduction.

Bedford/St. Martin's

Intercultural Communication

Intercultural Communication

 In every classroom encounter with different families from different cultures we decide what to say and how to say it. When working with children and families we make our decisions based on our assumptions and stereotypes what people from different culture are like. In communicating with people from different culture I pay attention to their verbal and nonverbal cues, as well as my own. I try to take in as much information as possible so that I can ask the right questions and to become connected with that person. I try to listen with confidence, respect, and an attentive presence.

 

When communicating  with people from different culture I tend to be more aware of cultural differences and adjust my behaviors appropriately ((Beebe, 2011, p. 114)For example, one should always assume that there is a significant possibility that cultural differences are causing communication problems, and be willing to be patient and forgiving, rather than hostile and aggressive, if problems develop. One should respond slowly and carefully in cross-cultural exchanges, not jumping to the conclusion that you know what is being thought and said.

Also I try to demonstrate active listening (O’Hair, & Wiemann, 2009).   Repeat what you think he or she said.  Then confirm that you understand the communication accurately. If words are used differently between languages or cultural groups, however, even active listening can overlook misunderstandings.

References

Beebe, S. A.,  Beebe, S. J. & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal Communication; Relating to others.(6th. ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon

O'Hair, & Wiemann. Real Communiucation: An Introduction. Bedford, St. Martin

Communication-Skills, Language, Nonverbal , Listening

Communication - Skills, Language, Nonverbal, Listening

 The concentration was on only six individuals; four (4) males, two (2) females. The show is named ‘Community’. The characters communication seemed to have been based on interpersonal relationships; peers in crime. There were exchanges of verbal and nonverbal messages.  One male was on the phone, for a long time.  A female walked in and was pushed out. Then the music started. The female slammed each opened door she passed by. Soon then the other males walked in an empty room each holding a box. They threw the boxes in and moved quickly towards the back.  Wrong Way! 

One male and the other female turned shaking heads left to right, right to left and went the other way. The previous female met them and they made gestures pointing to where the boxes were placed. The female lifted her hands in jubilation and smiled.  The male who was talking on the phone came in, threw himself to the floor and dragged towards the door. The other participants could not be seen then.  Later an old man came in the building peeked around, eyes opened wide, finger on lips, and tip toed toward the back. The other participants all five of them met in another section of the house. Boom, boom! They threw their bodies to the floor, dragged on their bellies out the door into a vehicle and drove off.  Boom, Boom!     


The nonverbal communication indicated that they were trying to move into a house belonging to the old guy without permission. The dropping to the floor indicated that gunshots were being fired to get them off the property.  


Sounds on

The characters were peers in crime. When things did not go how each liked they screamed and cursed each other. They did not listen to each other and was just trying to see how they could get through with what they were doing. There the music came on....  One guy screamed out, “Drop, drop, move!” louder and louder……BOOM, BOOM! Gun shots…… no one got hurt.  

 My assumptions would have been the same because the nonverbal communication like; the sounds, boom, boom, dropping to the floor, dragging on stomach to the door tell you that it was not safe to be in there.

This experience has shown that nonverbal communication can be believable. Body language, sounds and eye contacts are strong indicators towards effective communication and those nonverbal cues at times can deliver a clearer message than verbal cues.

I could not take my eyes off the screen because I did not want to miss anything.  The sound, music, and language used helped in my interpretation of what was happening. This shows that nonverbal cues serve to clarify meaning by reinforcing verbal messages (O’Hair, & Wiemann, 2009). The “Aha’ moment came when I saw the old man hugging one of the females later. Without sound I thought the old man was the owner of the house, however he was involved in the crime as well. Non verbal communication can be confusing (O’Hair, & Wiemann, 2009).

 Resources

O'Hair, & Wiemann, (2009). Real Communication: An Introduction. 

Bedford/St. Martin

What is Communication?

COMPETENT COMMUNICATOR

 I will use my co-teacher, my first principal as a competent communicator. As a leader he showed good verbal and nonverbal communication skills. Verbally,he was persuasive and communicated information with confidence, trustworthiness and truthfulness. He communicated on issues as he saw it objectively. When talking to him he listened attentively, and was able to understand, evaluate and successfully made use of what he heard. The principal during staff meeting when things seemed to be going out of control he showed the ability to determine what is appropriate and what is not especially when bickering surfaced. I remember the morning when a terrifying earthquake shook the school. The principal immediately gave instructions of what we should do and rang the bell over and over again to make staff aware and reminded them of the safety rules, and what should be done next. He was very effective in his communication as a principal and this has helped me in my communicating with others. His feedback was quick and timely, and for most part resulted in positive outcomes. O’Hair & Wiemann (2009) stated that competent communication must be both appropriate and effective. The principal was just that!

I would like to model the principal’s communication skills. This will help in my understanding of messages, evaluating what was said, and will successfully help me make use of what I heard. I believe a competent communicator should have good listening skills that are necessary in fulfilling job satisfaction, performance and achievement of the organization’s goals.

Resources

O’Hair & Wiemann (2009). Real Comunication: An Introduction.

Bedford/St. Martin's

Boston, MA 02116

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Professional Hopes and Goals

My hope for working with children and families from diverse background is that children and families would experience cultural visibility and continuity (Sparks, & Edwards, 2010),  in their immediate environment as well as in all other settings.

Also, it is my hope that all children and families of diverse background will benefit from equity and social justice in the teaching learning environment. The anti-bias education is a vital tool for such a push (Sparks, & Edwards, 2010).

Finally, all children and families would feel valued and become resources to other children and families that have cultural differences.

 One goal I will like to establish for the early childhood field related to issues of diversity, equity and social justice is to ensue that issues of equity, and social justice if become visible are addressed and policies and practices be put in place for the early childhood field so that each child's individual needs would be met in a diverse society

To al my colleagues and friends, I say thank you for those insights towards diversity, equity and social justice.

The journey was a long and tiresome one but we have made it once again. 

As we continue on let us be optimistic about the future of children and families towards equity, and social justice. Every child deserves to develop to his fullest potential  and we should be committed to making this happen.

See you in the next!

Resources

Build diversity and equity retreived from http://www.buildinitiative.org/content/diversity-and-equity

Derman-Sparks, L., & Edwards, J. O. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).

 

Welcoming Families From Around the World

Welcoming Families From Around the World

The name of the family’s country is Pakistan.

Pakistan shares influences that have shaped the cultures of South Asia. There are thus wider regional similarities extending beyond the national boundaries. On the other hand, the specific regional cultures of Pakistan  picture of rich diversity. Family organization is strongly patriarchal, as in most agrarian societies, and most people live in large extended families.

Ways in which you will prepare yourself to be culturally responsive towards this family?

 I will prepare my current students in welcoming the new student and the family; having a virtual tour of the country; the flag, the map, and part of the country’s children’s lifestyles.

I will Post a ‘WELCOME FAMILIES” sign in the family‘s language in a visible position. (Urdu: Khosh amadid)

Read about acceptable practices in the family’s home that will tie in with school’s culture; traditions, language, culture and practices.

 I will find an interpreter or another family from Pakistan to help with translation and building good rapport with family. This will help develop trust, and to show the family that we care about their child's individual needs.

 Find on-line resources from the country that are applicable to the child and family's culture. For example, pictures of buildings, the way they dress, the food, the rivers, the mountains, and deserts.

A brief description in ways you hope that these preparations will benefit both you and the family

A lot of misconceptions exist about different cultures because people do not always take the time to get the whole picture. he more we learn and know about other cultures the less misconceptions and stereotypes there will be. Educating yourself about different cultures and the people will not only make you a more knowledgeable and tolerant person, but you will gain respect for cultures and the people who are part of them.Thus families would feel a sense of belonging and would then realize that there can be continuity in their cultural practices and traditions. Resources

Culture of Pakistan - history, people, clothing, traditions, women, beliefs, food, customs, family http://www.everyculture.com/No-Sa/Pakistan.html#ixzz1bWa17iJU